Lovelution

I’m hearing daily stories of heart break, illness and tenderness from friends and clients.  It seems to be in the collective energy field right now.  Regardless of where you fall politically, I think many people are experiencing the chasm in our country:  between parties, between groups, between relatives and friends.

If our true nature is to be universally connected to all (which I believe) then this rampant atmosphere of divide and finger-pointing must be painful to all of us on a soul level.

So what to do?  How to keep my heart open? No matter what?  No matter who I am thinking about or dealing with?  That is my practice that I’ve dedicated my life to.  Even if it feels good to distance myself from somebody (or some group) because of their actions or words, I choose to take a look within myself and try and access compassion.

It’s a spiritual axiom that we can only change ourselves.  Gandhi said “Be the change that you wish to see in the world.”  I know I’m not saying anything new, but I’m sharing my practice with you with the hope that it may be helpful.  Living a heart-opened path (no matter what!) is much easier to do when everyone is doing what I think is right, or “playing nice” and not triggering me.   But what about when someone does something egregious?  It’s so tempting to distance myself and say “Oh no.  I would never do that!”

But if we’re all connected…I need to take a long, deep look at myself and find the part(s) of me that are related.  Instead of pushing away aspects of myself that I don’t like to see in others, or that make me uncomfortable, I need to shine a light on those parts, and love them up.  I believe that I do have the wounded masculine aspect in myself that acts out of insecurity and powerlessness. I am the wounded feminine that is too afraid to speak up, or speaks out harshly, fearing I can’t have what I want.  I am the divine as well – we all are.  I have all aspects of shadow and light inside of me because I am human.  I am a spirit having a human experience.  I think I signed up for all of it!

And so,

I am practicing loving myself.  Unconditionally.  Simple yet profound.

Love.  It’s been written about.  It’s been sung about.  It’s an energy.  It’s a feeling.  It’s a way to live.  So often I have looked externally for this feeling and offered it freely to others, but I forgot (or rushed past) the first step:  Self-love.

If you are like me, you might read those two words and think “Blech”.  Self-love?  That’s no fun.  I like to connect with others.  I like to interact.  Self-love sounds lonely.  And boring.  I really used to think that!  (TRUTH:  Sometimes it is kind of lonely and boring – definitely not instant gratification land.)

I believe self-love is the foundation for my life.  When I skip this step (and I have) the opportunities keep showing up to allow me to get it right.  Like pulling a weed and not getting the root, it just keeps coming back.

How do I practice self-love?

One of the ways I do is to stay present to “what is” vs. what I wish was happening, and not try and escape any uncomfortable feelings that may arise (like loneliness, fear, grief).  It’s a practice and some days are better than others.  When an uncomfortable emotion shows up, I try to be loving and patient – the same way I would be with one of my children.  Acceptance and forgiveness are huge players in this arena.  Trying to love all parts of myself, not just the “nice” parts.

Unconditionally loving ourselves means accepting all parts of us, not “fixing” or removing the more prickly parts of self, rather shining true love and compassion on those harder to accept aspects of ourselves.  This is love unconditional.  This is love invincible.  This is LOVELUTION.

LOVELUTION:  a beautiful and quick shift from simply existing to loving oneself constantly and totally, radically impacting all areas of your life to ripple out to others.  (I made it up.  You’re welcome.)

Ripple out to others?

Yes!  The best part of this, is that when I fully give myself to this path of open-hearted living, it is guaranteed to benefit everyone in my life.  That’s right, by loving myself, I am increasing the love in my life.  Love begets Love.  I am surrounding myself with love.  This is an energy I can always impact and control because it begins with ME.   When I plug into this, I see its effects immediately.  People respond and behave lovingly to me.  Some days are easier than others.  Some days I love myself more than others.  One day at a time.  Progress not perfection.  I’ll keep you posted.

Lovelution!
The time will come 

when, with elation 

you will greet yourself arriving 

at your own door, in your own mirror 

and each will smile at the other’s welcome, 

and say, sit here. Eat. 

You will love again the stranger who was your self.

Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart 

to itself, to the stranger who has loved you 

all your life, whom you ignored 

for another, who knows you by heart. 

Take down the love letters from the bookshelf, 

the photographs, the desperate notes, 

peel your own image from the mirror. 

Sit. Feast on your life.

-Derek Walcott

 

Chakra Series – 4th Chakra

4th Chakra activated
4th Chakra activated

Anahata (Sanskrit: अनाहत, Anāhata) the heart center – this chakra allows us to love deeply, feel compassion, and access a sense of peace and connectedness.

There is much yearning for me to live in the heart center.  If you notice, it’s right in the center of the 7 chakras.  I draw upon the energy from the lower chakras and pull down the energy from the upper chakras and they all meet in the 4th to generate a warm loving pulse, a strong drum beat that I walk to.  Not all the time, but as much as I can manage.  It is my life practice to keep the heart chakra open.

“Love is what we are; we don’t get it from somebody, we can’t give it to anybody, we can’t fall in it or fall out of it. Love is our true Being.”  Krishna Das

This post has taken me longer to write than the others in the series because I want to do it justice.  Like describing a lover’s face to somebody else, I don’t want to leave anything out, get it just right.  And in the realization of that, I can let go and do my best, it’s just ego setting out its trip wire.

Once, when I was a pre-school teacher, one of my favorite 4 year old girls threw her arms around me and said “I love you so much, I wish I could kiss you on the lips!” and I received the pure uncensored abandon of her love.  What my 4 year old girl wants to say about the 4th chakra is: “I am in love with this chakra, with this life, with YOU, with ME and I wish I could write a thousand love poems for the heart!”  I wish I could throw my arms around the world and dissolve into one million points of light and ecstatically merge with All.  (Maybe that’s what death is like…I hope so.)

This full moon time, I’ve been praying to take the “next step” in my work life, the next step on the path of meaning and service.  I pray to be of service in the world, in the areas of death & dying, grief healing, suicide loss, threshold passages, sacred sexuality, body awareness/appreciation – you know, just the usual stuff.  And ALL of it under the umbrella of sharing from the heart, with each and every encounter, seeing others through eyes of love.

“Wherever you are, and whatever you do, be in love.”  -Rumi.

So how to do that?  Stay in love with the world on a daily basis…not always easy.  Especially driving around Boulder at 5pm.  My god I am challenged!  I am humbled by how quickly I can get knocked off center.  My blueprint for living these days is my beloved book:  The Untethered Soul, by Michael Singer.  In it, he speaks about how the heart center is an energy center and this energy (Chi, Shakti, Spirit) is unlimited and it’s our birthright.  It’s our birthright!  We store pain in the heart center and in order to be truly FREE, we need to commit to a practice of feeling our pain and releasing it, witnessing it as energy, nothing more/less, and allowing it to pass.  This enables us to stay in our heart and not close it off anytime we think we might feel something painful.  Living in fear of feeling something  that hasn’t happened yet isn’t freedom.  Singer says:  “The only thing you have to know is that opening (the heart) allows energy in, and closing blocks it out.”  The good news is that I am presented with mulitiple opportunties a day to stop, breathe and relax my heart and open it again.  Which is why it is my most active, ongoing practice and it has immediate, amazing results.  My life is changing before my eyes.

 

Lotus Mudra (for an open heart)
Lotus Mudra (for an open heart)

“There is a candle in your heart, ready to be kindled.

There is a void in your soul, ready to be filled.

You feel it, don’t you?”

― Rumi