I’m thinking about Life. How I was in LA for a week – lala land – literally and figuratively, taking a break from Boulder. Just got back on Monday night and by yesterday I was climbing the walls wishing for more ‘meaning’, missing my death work really and truly.
I shared with a few people how out-of-the loop I was feeling being away for the past week, and soon afterwards, emails started rolling in about the newly bereaved group that starts next week that I will co-facilitate. Then I made a deciscion to offer a grief/loss meditation group at my house for the month of March (more on that later) and not long afterward, I got a call from the volunteer coordinator at a local hospice that a vigil was starting for a woman who was dying and could I be there from 5-7 tonight? No hesitation in my mind and heart as I said “Yes!”
So there I was last night, sitting beside a woman in transition, a woman I’ve never met but a woman I am sharing one of the most intimate times with. All the petty b.s. I am consumed with falling away as I hold her hand. An exercise in presence. I can go about 5 minutes before I get distracted. There’s a guy moaning loudly out in the hall. My daughter’s calling my cell phone. The woman’s roommate is shuffling her wheelchair to the bathroom to brush her teeth. I look around. On the hospital tray are signs of a former life, garlic salt and reading glasses sit patiently, never to be used again. But I always come back to her, this woman who seems to be peacefully laboring. Each breath is an effort. An aide stops in to say goodbye “It’s time Mama.” she says as she strokes her forehead.
In this moment, I am lost – anonymous – one tiny grain of sand. Death is happening whether I took a shower or not. In this moment, I am found – a spark of the divine, heart pumping, alive. Open. Grateful.
“Brace yourself. You’re about to enter one of the most blindingly colorful, unrelentingly chaotic and unapologetically indiscreet places on earth. Varanasi takes no prisoners. But if you’re ready for it, this may just turn out to be your favorite stop of all.”
Also known as the City of Life, this is one of the world’s oldest continually inhabited cities and is regarded as one of Hinduism’s seven holy cities. Pilgrims come to the ghats (steps leading down into the water) lining the River Ganges to wash away a lifetime of sins and to cremate their loved ones. To die here, in Varanasi, offers moksha (liberation from the cycle of birth and death) and it is said that when ashes of ancestors are offered into the Ganges, you are erasing 7 generations of karma from the past and 7 generations of karma in the future. Powerful stuff. Before I go to Varanasi, I hope to obtain some ashes of my father’s and release them into the swirling waters of the Ganges.
Lonely Planet goes on to say: “Most visitors agree it’s a magical place, but it’s not for the faint-hearted. Here the most intimate rituals of life and death take place in public and the sights, sounds and smells in and around the ghats can be overwhelming. Persevere. Varanasi is unique, and a walk along the ghats or a boat ride on the river will live long in memory.”
We have such great events planned for Varanasi, including an evening boat ride along the Ganges as well as a sunrise boat ride the following day. We will be attending a temple aarti (ceremony with song and lamps) and receive a private concert. My pulse quickens with excitement to visit this holy city. I know first-hand how surreal India can seem and yet, in the completely unfamiliar and unknown, spirit resides and the veils are thin. There is absolute potency for amazing experiences in this space of suspended belief. Can you feel it?
I am so excited to announce that Nancy West McGuire and I have planned a women’s retreat to India. There are many incredible events planned as we visit New Delhi, Varanasi and Rishikesh as well as daily yoga and meditation classes. We’ve organized this event in collaboration with a known and trusted, professional Indian guide who brings us access to many experiences the average traveler wouldn’t be privy to. Click here for a detailed itinerary.
The trip dates are: October 12 – 22, 2013. For more information, please go to our Journey to India website. We would love to have you join us!
Just working on my video (I call it my virtual business card) that Kirsten Boyer is helping me with. She’s an amazing photographer – you wouldn’t believe what she can do with natural light…wow. And she’s an amazing videographer. Stay tuned. Hopefully next week all will be up and running. Important to me because I want to get the info about the trip to INDIA that’s coming up in October, 2013. Alison Litchfield and I will be co-leading that one. More soon.