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Wild Ride
Wild Ride

I am in heavy Family Time right now.  Me/Him/Mine/His (no “Ours” – I guess that would be the cats…and they’re not here with us right now.)  We’re on a Family Vacation.  I’m learning A LOT.  The first thing I have learned is that I suck (sometimes.)  I really do.  I am mean.  I am childish.  I am petty.  Wow.  No sugar coating this part.  It’s humbling.  The other thing about this is that when you are on a Family Vacation, and you Suck, your whole family sees…there’s no hiding it.  And…some of members of this family are made up of teenagers.  And guess what?  Teenagers notice this stuff.  No getting around it.

There is a certain terrible rhythm amidst all 5 of us.  At any given point, at least one of us is feeling fed up, sad, hurt or angry.  We’re being called to stretch ourselves and make room for all that we are – not just the nice persona we show the public.   I happen to be blessed by a family that forgives and truly wants to be in good relationship with each other, even if we are not always sure how to do that.   There’s a lot to be said for the power of apologizing and the grace of forgiveness.  I’ve been doing both.  A lot.

The other thing I am learning – and this is Monumental with a capital ‘M’ – is that LOVE is limitless.  It comes from source, so it never runs out.  I run out of patience and get frustrated, but when I am running on empty, I can remember to ask for help.  For Grace.  For some “more love please”.  And guess what?  It’s working.  I’ve never been so consciously aware of this before in my life.  It feels miraculous, truly.

Sparkler

A dear friend gave me a ring a few weeks ago.  It has the letters ‘LIMI‘ on it.  They stand for Love Is My Intention.  They were created to promote more love on the planet.  Normally, my goal is to love more and to fear less (thank you Lance), but to have this reminder to breathe, to love, to recommit to my intention, on my finger helps me come back to this mantra again and again throughout the day.

LIMI = Love Is My Intention

 

On my own, I am a human being with a finite set of resources.  Sometimes I have a “raisin heart” – which means a little, dried up, Grinchy heart.  When I’m in this mode, nobody is happy, including myself.  Sometimes I indulge in shitty behavior, and like any addiction or bad habit, I don’t feel better afterwards.  Source (or Love, or God, or…) is Limitless and I can change from the “Me” channel to “Source” channel and that is magical.  mmmm.  Love.  Healing.  Grace.

To err, to apologize, to ask forgiveness, to love, to forgive…it’s one wild merry-go-round here and I am learning…growing…loving.  Grateful.

True Confessions – Part 2

Vunerability and Truth…two of the most potent spaces to be in – combined anything is possible.  It was in this spirit that my relationship with Nancy West McGuire was started.  On this day, at this cafe, it was the right time for us to connect.  Do you have any friends like that?  Where you know each other peripherally, or see each other around, but for some reason you finally connect and you wonder “Why did this take so long?”  Ahhh the mystery of life.  I love it.

One of my absolute joys in life, and a reason I believe I’m here in human form, is to deeply connect with other human beings – on a heart level.  Sitting down with a “stranger” and finding common ground with each other energizes me and makes me glad to be alive.  It fills me up on a soul level.  And guess what?  Nancy loves that too!  The more we shared, the more excited we got to recognize a kindred spirit in each other.  We both had been event planners in past lives, we had gone to high school within 7 miles of each other, for decades each of one us has been drawn to different trainings and teachings to improve ourselves.  We each have a reverence and curiosity for death and dying.  It was a such a treat to meet and spend hours (!) talking and enjoying myself.  The items to be discussed kept growing and tumbling out, it felt as natural and comfortable as seeing a friend after many years – a sister…a best friend from childhood…where had she been all my life?

The cherry on top of the sundae was that Nancy was passionate about India.  Not only had she traveled there solo and lived there, but she was familiar with the one city that has been calling to me – Varanasi.  The one city on the “Journey to India” itinerary that I haven’t been to, yet feel called to see.  Nancy told me story after story about her days in Varanasi, about impromptu dance parties with women in the slums, about chartering a boat to take families down the Ganges to a park for an afternoon of play, of paying for children to go to the dentist for the first time and have their teeth cleaned and filled.  To hear Nancy speak of Varanasi, is to see her come alive.  She’s a strong woman with a large heart and she exudes confidence, competence and gregariousness.  But the nectar is to watch Nancy soften when she speaks of Varanasi and the people there.  She looks like a young girl, delighted with life, and sweet with vulnerability and truth.  See for yourself:

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